Lindsay Lohan May Open Drunk Driving School
Posted on July 15, 2008
In the wake of being arrested for DUI on a second occasion, Lindsay Lohan has reportedly announced, I think that two arrests qualify me as an expert. So I may use my experience and open a drunk driving school.
What will you teach? a reporter asked.
Oh, really important skills, like how to drive when you feel really drunk and cant quite seem to keep the car in the center of the road, what to do if you head the wrong way down a one-way street without knowing it, and how to react if you accidentally run over somebody. Things like that, which ordinary driving schools just leave out.
But what about getting people to stop drinking and driving?
Yes, well have a course on that and it should prove really interesting, since I cant figure out how to do it myself. Obviously, I dont have any idea how to teach people how to avoid getting arrested. So that part of the course should elicit a lot of give a take. My really important goal is to help people get home safe, or at least without getting arrested. Im kind of vague about those things myself, too, but Im always willing to give a good idea a shot.
Lohans legal counsel is rumored to be looking into applying for a license for the institution, but the lawyers face a multitude of difficulties, such as the inconvenient fact that the state of California has yet to establish a licensing agency for the category.
Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."
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